Secret
by Kappa13
Summary: Vash has a secret. Will he be able to keep it from Wolfwood? Rated mature for a reason. Little graphic content at the end. Vash/Wolfwood with a twist.


Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun... If I did my friend would kill me and steal Vash and Wolfwood... Don't you just love the loyalty?

Vash was awoken by sharp pains in his abdomen. Grumbling softly, as not to wake the sleeping figure in the next bed, he made his way over to the bathroom. Must've been the drinking, but he didn't remember there being more than a bottle. Even if it had been the strongest stuff on the planet it wouldn't have been enough to make him feel this bad. "Spikey?" He froze when the covers shifted, Wolfwood wasn't fully awake, he always reacted that way when they shared a room.

"Yeah," Vash said softly, not wanting to wake him fully, "Go back to sleep," he caught a glimpse of eyes before they disappeared back under the cover. At least it was a calm waking, some nights when there'd been too much to drink he either ended up with Wolfwood's Cross in his face. Or, if he got too close to the bed, been mistaken for a 'guest' of his and drug into it. Thanking whatever deity that watched out for him that the other man had always realized his mistake after Vash's yelp of surprise.

Vash frowned, and he wasn't even afraid of such an encounter, at least not the way most men would be. He was worried that his traveling companion would find out something he had been lucky to keep hidden for all this time. For some reason, he found himself smiling. The man could be a real dick but then there was no one else he'd rather have at his side in a fight. He shook off whatever other types of feelings trying to creep into his mind and went into the bath. The pain had subsided a bit, maybe a hot shower would relieve the rest of the pain. Though it still felt like he had gotten punched, repeatedly, in the bread basket. He couldn't remember fighting with Wolfwood... or anyone else for that matter, for a long while.

Tossing his shirt over the closed toilet, he turned the water on to get warm. The pants went next. Oblivious of the reddened stain across them, Vash stepped into the now hot water. The water felt so good, and it did ease the pains to a dull ache. Giving a contented sigh, he leaned into the jet, resting his forehead against the wall. A smile played on his lips at the feel of the water on his back, messaging as it ran down his body. It did feel really good. He opened his down cast eyes, intending to search out the soap, pink curled within the clear water. "Oh no..." His head thumped against the wall softly, he'd forgotten. After so many years, he had lost track, and Wolfwood was in the same room as him. This would not end well. That explains it all...

Vash took his time cleaning himself, taking extra care to make sure that the shower held no evidence of his... affliction, and was just about to get out when there was a knock at the door. "Hey Spikey, I'm sure the rest of Gunsmoke would love to have some water left."

"GIVE ME A MINUTE!" Vash covered his mouth at the sudden outburst, eyes looked worriedly at the closed door. Why hadn't he locked it? Finally noticing his stained pants, he whimpered, he'd forgotten to bring any other clothes into the bath with him. "Uh, Wolfwood? Could you bring me my duffle?"

His ear was to the door, he heard the priest mumbling to himself, "Ain't got nothing I ain't seen before." Vash was caught between laughing and whimpering. He probably didn't have anything the other hadn't seen before, but you'd never expect to see it on the same person. "Here you go," Vash eeped and clutched at the towel around him as the door swung open. "See, nothing I ain't seen before," Wolfwood shook his head and thrust the bag into Vash's chest, nearly making him lose his towel.

"Uh, thanks?" Vash tried to stop the blush from creeping into his cheeks, it didn't work. He could tell by Wolfwood's reaction that he had seen it, the door was closed. "I hate this..." He always had and always will. His body reacted so differently to such common things. As if Wolfwood had never walked in on him before, though when that tended to happen there was always the shower curtain between the two. Shaking himself from his thoughts, Vash dressed, taking care to make sure he wouldn't get blood all over his clothes this time. He still couldn't believe he'd forgotten. He'd NEVER lost track before, not since it had started.

Hiding his night clothes in the bag, he finally left the bathroom. As always, Wolfwood was shaving years off his life by puffing on one of his cigarettes. Sighing, Vash shook his head, sending a few clinging drops of water airborne. "When are you going to give those up?"

"The day I die," he answered with an exhale of smoke.

"They'll put you in an early grave."

"And traveling with Vash the Stampede won't?"

He had a point... Flopping down on his empty bed, he huffed a defeated sigh. Arms resting on knees, head down as he started scrubbing at his damp hair. "Hasn't killed me yet," he smiled, trying. Wolfwood just leaned back to look over at him, brow raised. Vash shrugged when Wolfwood shook his head, going back to his cancer stick. "I'm planning to stick around here for a couple more days... You stayin too?" That got him a look. Vash just shrugged off the unvoiced question, "Just wantin to know if I'm getting a single room." Though walking normally helped relieve the pains in his stomach he hated traveling through the desert during 'this time'. He never knew when he'd get a descent bath and hated the feeling of being so... unclean. The last thing he needed was Wolfwood on his heels the whole way bitchin' about lack of, insert any term here. Sometimes the priest just got on his nerves and Vash feared that during 'this time' he might just end up shooting to kill the poor clueless priest.

"Hey! Spikey!" Vash shook himself out of his thoughts and looked at the hand waving in front of his face. "I said, I'm stayin'."

"Okay," he responded, voice flat. "I'll have to check with some friends about cash..."

"Are you tellin' me yer mooching' off some poor buddy of yers?!"

Vash blinked, once, at the small outburst. "No, about a job you single-minded nit-wit! Not everyone takes advantage of the kindness of others!"

That got Wolfwood blinking, normally all he got out of Vash was a whining complaint, not an all out shouting response. He could even see a bit of pink creep into his cheeks at the anger shining in his eyes. For the life of him he couldn't figure out why, just then, the man reminded him of the insurance girl when she was in full bitch mode. "Alright, All right, back down. I didn't mean nothin' by it... Just askin'... Occupational hazard."

Vash, realizing how odd he was acting, shook himself out of his sudden bout of anger to finish his hair and taking the towel back to the bathroom. "Sorry Wolfwood... Must not be feeling well," he saw Wolfwood nod as he came back into the room. "I'm getting something to eat and seeing about that job... You're on your own today, unless you wanna help look for some work?" Wolfwood scoffed at that, causing Vash to smile and shrug his shoulder, "Suite yourself." He left before he could see the priest make a very un-priest-like jester, mainly involving a certain center finger. It was a rather good thing he did, or else he may've no doubt come up with a rather interesting suggestion as to where to put that finger and something tells me the priest wouldn't have liked it.

"Thank you, thank you, Vash-san! We could really use the help! Any tips are yours, we'll see about the rest of the pay when the rush lightens up," A small, stack of plates, A.K.A, the owner of the small diner, stated before rushing off to dispose of her dishes. Smiling, his usual innocent smile, Vash quickly went about clearing the emptying tables, barley remembering to take the orders of the newcomers.

"Sorry about the wait," sparkles seemed to appear around him as he took the order of a small group of women, school girls taking a break from the look and act of them.

"Yeah, cutie," the more bold said, Vash acted oblivious to the few obviously flirtatious lines as he scribbled down the order and headed for the counter to turn it in.

Vash, spotting a dirty yet empty table, detoured on the way, stuffing the tip in his pocket absently as he gathered the dishes. He whistled a random tune that he couldn't quite remember, carefully balancing the plates. "You... bastard!" Totally off guard, Vash looked up in time to see a younger man vault over a table to tackle the older man on the other side of it.

"Hey!" The plates went onto an empty table, fearing losing his tips, and he ran to break up the scuffle taking place in the floor. This just wasn't his day... "Knock it- oof!" One had regained his balance, throwing a blind punch. It hit Vash square in the gut, knocking the air from him and causing a tremendous constricting of the muscles in his abdomen. It left him panting and whimpering as the cramping refused to stop.

"Vash-san!"

"Damnit..." Vash forced himself to his feet, gripping the arms of the two now standing fighters, mainly to keep himself upright. "Take it outside!" It took everything he had not to double over with pain at the effort it took to off-balance the smaller, but he was able to gather enough force to shove him toward the door. The man stumbled, losing footing to skip a few times over the floor on his face, looking straight at the door. The other man seemed a little more cooperative, after glaring at the panting Vash, he headed toward the door.

"Vash-san, are you okay?"

"Will be," he said, still trying to get the cramping to stop or at least lessen. "Can I take a break a minute? That hit's got my stomach upset," Vash watched the small woman nod repeatedly and took a seat near the restroom, just to be sure he wouldn't need it.

"So, this is where you've hid yerself, Spikey," Vash groaned audibly as Wolfwood came to rest in the chair beside him. "Why the long face?"

"Gut-shot," he grumbled and that got a groan from the priest.

"Ouch, this early? Make ya sick?"

"Not much... Makin' sure..." The cramps had lightened a bit, but it still had him flinching to try to stand. Feeling a sudden flowing between his legs, Vash panicked and rushed into the empty bathroom. Damn, he HATED this time!

Wolfwood was starting to worry; Vash was taking a long time, but tried to shrug it off. Didn't work, he ended up pushing the door open to see empty rows of urinals and a row of stalls. "Spikey? Any permanent damage?" He figured he was finished, he couldn't hear the tail-tell sounds of someone getting sick.

Vash was trembling behind the locked stall door, he hadn't expected Wolfwood to follow after him. "No... nothing damaged... Just, hurt a bit more than I thought..." The flow had finally slowed and he made sure he wouldn't dirty his pants before finally coming out of the stall, flushing the toilet long before he stepped out. Sure that the water ran clear, he moved to wash his hands at the small row of sinks.

Wolfwood half smirked at Vash as he seemed to scrub his hands with the utmost attention. "Hm," Wolfwood almost hummed as he caught an odd scent. "Did you change your shampoo?" Vash just shook his head without paying attention to the other's remark. "A dame must've snuck in here then..."

Vash stilled and looked at Wolfwood in the mirror, "Why.... why would you say that?"

"Huh? Oh, cuz only a woman could have that smell," he gave a 'wolfish' grin and winked toward Vash, unknowing that it was now the cause of his paled complexion, before patting him on the shoulder. "If yer feelin' better, I'm getin' some breakfast, I'm starvin'."

Only a woman... Great, I had to get the one womanizing bastard of a priest as a friend... He'll know before the day's up, let alone the week. After kicking himself, mentally of cause, a few hundred times, Vash left the room to go back to work. Hoping he'd get enough tips to make up for the break.

"Are you sure you're all right, Vash-san?" Vash smiled reassured at the small woman and just nodded his head, tired beyond belief of vocalizing the answer. "If you're sure..." She kept a worried eye on him throughout the morning, causing him some measure of discomfort, but not nearly as much as what the end of the day would bring. He had been working hard and earned his keep the whole morning, and most of the afternoon, and it was quickly becoming late, and would be closing time soon. Meaning he didn't have much time until he'd be stuck in that small hotel room, with Wolfwood, and his damnable biology... Well, there was an upside to the day... a few actually. No one died, minimal damage, and he wasn't cramping up nearly as much as he had been before he started working. Vash ended up laughing at himself, upside, yeah right...

"Spikey, bout time! Did ya bring back any dinner?" Vash glared, restraining, at Wolfwood's smiling face. "I'll take that as a no..."

"Good call," Vash grumbled and shrugged off his coat, god he was burning up in it. Having gotten use to running around all day without it, he couldn't stand the heat it caused. "Open the window would ya?" He flopped back onto the empty bed, uncaring whether or not Wolfwood actually did as he asked.

"Gonna get heatstroke in that coat a yers, Spikey," who let out a sigh when he felt a cool breeze blow over him.

"If the desert ain't killed me yet, nuthin' will."

"You got a point, but you shouldn't push it," Vash opened his eyes at the nearness of the voice, to look up at Wolfwood. "Yer lookin' a bit pale, you feelin' okay?"

Vash unconsciously cringed away, "Yeah, fine..." He knew he'd look pale for a while during this, his body lost too much Iron at once not to, but he couldn't very well tell the priest that. God, what would he think if he knew? Vash's mind flashed to images of a possible outcome, being shunned and ridiculed by one of the only people that he liked being around, his true friend...

A grip on his wrist drug him out of his thoughts with a yip and he pulled away from the touch. Wolfwood was standing at the end of the bed, looking at him with confusion. "I said, I'm gettin' something to eat, wanna come or do I bring somethin' back?"

Vash tried to keep his breathe even, not very well but tried, and shook his head, "No, I'm not going... If you've got enough money, go ahead and bring me something back."

Wolfwood gave Vash a searching look before he left their room, it wasn't like him... But who was he to judge, he could just be having an off day.

--------------------------(Time lapse)-------------------------

Vash stared up at the sealing, it had been three day's since it started, and if he wasn't working for the money to keep the room he was hiding in it. It was only half over too... He still had days left. And he was starting to worry about Wolfwood, the man had been giving him more space than he usually would. It's probably just because he senses I'm on edge... That has to be it. He let out a huff of a sigh and stared out the cracked curtain, watching the kids playing in the dirt street, wishing he could be down there playing with them.

Wolfwood grumbled to himself as he carried the bag of food to the room him and Vash had been sharing. The man hadn't been outside other to keep the damn room paid off. That isn't like him at all. He steered clear of the room as much as he could, wanting to give Vash space in case that was what was wrong with him. "Hey Spikey, I got us a snack!" He barged in without knocking, his room too after all, and was instantly hit with the too sweet scent of a woman. His eyes instantly searched the room, fearing he'd walked in on something, but only saw Vash gazing thoughtfully out the window. "Hey, you got a... friend in here with you?" He asked looking towards the opened and empty bathroom.

"No, what would make you think that?" Vash looked at him, he froze at the soft look in those light eyes.

"Uh... no reason. I got some food, ya hungry?"

A smile pulled at Vash's lips as he moved toward Wolfwood. "Yeah, I am. Thanks," he accepted the sandwich he was handed and sat on the bed, nibbling at it.

"So, what's her name?"

"Hm," Vash asked through a mouthful of bread.

"Don't Hm me, I can smell her on you, what's her name. Sly dog," Wolfwood smiled and nudged the other's shoulder.

Vash was honestly confused, staring at Wolfwood with a lost expression. "Who? No one's been here but you and me."

Wolfwood raised an eyebrow, leaning over to sniff at Vash's collar, ignoring the odd reaction he got for it, and frowned, "Hm, then who spilled perfume on you? And when... You haven't been anywhere but here and the diner all wee... Oh! I get it. Getting more than just cash as tips huh?"

"Wha wha WHAT!? NO! Jeez, how exactly DID you become a priest with a mind like that!?! Maybe YOU should be the one taking that portable confessional of yours for a whirl," Vash blushed brightly as he tried to shut himself up by stuffing half his sandwich in his mouth at once. All that accomplished was a bit of gagging as a dry bit of crust scratched at his throat.

"Take it easy, you're supposed to eat it not try to breathe it," Wolfwood patted Vash's back as the man went into a coughing fit. "Ya okay now?" He got a nod as a response as Vash headed for the bathroom for some water.

Vash leaned over the sink, scooping up water, trying to get the rest of the stubborn food down without choking him. 'What's her name?' Eyes squinted shut, damnit. Why'd he have to ask that? The oddest thought, it's Vash, caused him to give something of a sob-chuckle.

"You alright?" Wolfwood came to lean against the frame of the open door, damn why'd he forget the door? Vash finally pulled away from the sink.

"Wolfwood... I've had enough of this. There... was a woman here, and... still is."

The other gave a started look, glancing around, before turning a smart-ass look Vash's way, "That true? Where you got 'er stashed? Under the bed?" Wolfwood thumbed toward the two empty beds but didn't go to investigate.

"No..." Vash swallowed hard enough to threaten to seal off his windpipe, "I'm right in front of you."

"Yeah, I know yer in front a me, I'm talkin' to ya."

"No, I mean... The woman you've, somehow, been smellin', is me."

"..." Wolfwood was giving him a look that clearly said he needed his head examined and all Vash could do was sigh. "Oh, I see what yer doing, you don't want me to know who she is. No need to make up tales to keep me off a her," the priest winked and went back to his near forgotten sandwich. Vash gave a defeated sigh. Tell the man your biggest secret and he laughs at you... Some priest.

"Wolfwood... I'm being completely honest. I am..."

"Spikey, much as I hate to admit it, I've seen you. You are definitely male," Wolfwood's eyes were cast downward, before returning to Vash's face.

"..." Vash ran a hand down his face, "What do you know about plants?"

A dark eyebrow rose, "There's one standing in front of me."

"Plants are... both." Vash felt heat rise in his cheeks and knew he had to be blushing. "I am... both. We... I, may appear one sex, but in truth we, I am of both." The heat got worse, nearly making him dizzy with the sudden flash of temperature. "Are you going to speak? Or just stare at me as if I sprouted two heads?" He didn't even look up at Wolfwood, just knew from the silence that was what he was doing.

"The first one," Wolfwood stated in a flat tone that worried Vash more than anything. "Yer telling me yer a... hermaphrodite? Man and woman, in one body."

"Uh huh, that's what's been wrong with me these last few days... The woman half is strongest during, this time..."

"This time?"

Vash looked away, "Yeah... you know... woman's time."

Vash could've sworn he had heard Wolfwood's jaw hit the floor, and fearing it was the priest that had, chanced a look at the man before him. "You... you mean... yer... Oh God... What, how, never mind, don't need details, but HOW?!"

"You honestly need an explanation? I'm, kind of, a woman in... her prime. Of course my body is going to prepare for the, unlikely, chance that it will carry a child." Vash couldn't believe he was saying all this, let alone to Wolfwood.

"This can't be happening..." Wolfwood ran a hand through his hair and let out a huff. "I... I have to say this... I just, I just can't believe it. Prove it," there was a somewhat frightened look on Wolfwood's face. Vash knew his own expression had to be a thousand times worse.

"Wha..." He wants me to... prove it?! Vash felt a clenching low in his gut and knew it had nothing to do with the cramping that this time caused, he'd never told anyone aside from Rem, let alone 'proved it' to anyone. "You... want," he gulped, "Proof..." What was he going to do?

"Yeah," Wolfwood seemed as nervous as Vash was. But he had to know if Vash was joking, if it was just some prank going too far.

Vash put his middle finger to the bridge of his nose, a nervous habit, trying to push up sunglasses that weren't there. "After... After it's over, I'll prove it to you... Give me a couple a days. Okay?"

Wolfwood has staring into sorrowful eyes, "Yer for real," the other nodded. "Holy... All right, but I swear, if this is a joke Spikey, so help me God."

"If it was, I'd be laughing. Thanks for the food, I'm going to bed," Vash crawled into his vacant bed, regardless of the time and curled up into a ball beneath the covers.

"Night, Spikey," Wolfwood decided he'd make an early trip to the bar, suddenly needing a strong drink.

Vash heard the door open and then close. Satisfied that he was alone, he turned over onto his back. He draped his hand a crossed his stomach, then let it slid lower, until he could feel the outline of his male parts through the fabric of his pants. If only he was just one, and not both. He pushed, or tried to, the thoughts away, wanting to let sleep take his problems away, if only for a moment.

Vash's eyes flew open when he heard the door pushed closed, a bit too hard, and turned to see a stumbling Wolfwood trying to make it to his bed. The inebriated priest caused a squeak of protest when he suddenly lost his balance and slammed down onto the bed. Had Vash been fully asleep, he would've shot up, ready for a fight, but being awake already, he let the other think him still asleep. "Dem ssuess," he was fumbling to get his shoes off, already tugging at his belt and pants.

"Sues? Girl troubles Wolfwood?"

Wolfwood gave a startled sound and fell as he jumped and spun at the sudden voice. "The fuck, Spikey!?!"

"Ya all right?"

"Yeah, and what you say 'bout girl troubles? Like you'd know," Vash caught a spark in Wolfwood's eye that he didn't like but let it be. "Dem plant..." Wolfwood made it back onto his bed before falling into a drunken stupor. Vash huffed a sigh, knowing the priest wouldn't remember a damn word he'd said.

The next thing that woke Vash was the familiar pressure in his bladder, he grumbled. He really didn't want to get out of bed but knew he had to empty it, soon. Finally getting out of the warm bed, he padded across the room, hissing when his leg connected with the side of Wolfwood's bed. Damn, how'd he miss something that big? But then he didn't. The lump of covers stirred, but didn't ask the usual question, so Vash gave a tired shrug and moved to the bathroom.

Once his task was complete, he moved back out into the room, a bit blind from the light. This time he slammed both his knees into the side of the closest bed, this time getting a reaction. Vash let out, a too high pitched yip, as he was suddenly drug under the covers. "Hey, babe, where'd you get to?"

"Wool," Vash was cut off when he suddenly had lips covering his. His hand went to Wolfwood's chest as he felt the other grip his waist. "Wolfwood stop," he panted once the lips backed up. "It's me, it's Vash. Wolfwood, wake up, snap out of it," God I shouldn't have told him, he's still plastered. What if he takes his proof now? "Damnit." Vash whimpered when he felt himself being pulled against the rather excited man. Something deep within him pulsed and clenched, causing him to moan. God, why did his body have to be so out of control? Why did it have to react to this? Why did THAT part of him have to react? "Wolfwood," he didn't understand why his voice sounded the way it did, so tight and high. The clenching increased as the hands moved further down, brushing his navel, he gasped as a shiver ran through him. His, he hated to admit it, womb clenching tight enough to trigger whispers of pleasure. "If you have to... Please, if you must have your proof this way, be gentle," Vash finally opened his eyes to see that Wolfwood's were completely clear, not alcohol hazed, but shining clearly.

"Spikey... I... It really is true..."

"Yes, it's true," Vash was surprised when Wolfwood leaned back, allowing him up.

"I, I'm sorry, I didn't mean," the priest was genuine in his words. Vash was released, able to return to his own bed, and did so happily, though his lower body still clenched and pulsed with what could've happened. "Night Vash..." Wolfwood said, pulling the covers over his head, trying to hide what he'd done, or nearly done, to his friend.

--------------------------------------------------(time lapse)-------------------------------------------

This time it was Wolfwood trying to hide, leaving the room before Vash was even stirring and, for several days, not returning until after Vash had fallen asleep from exhaustion. Vash was sad that the priest wasn't going to stand up and speak to him but, finding that one morning his body had finally finished it's time, he knew that he was going to keep his end of their deal, whether Wolfwood liked it or not.

Vash made sure that, regardless of when the priest would return, he was awake when the other got into the room. "Wolfwood," he said, sitting up in his bed. The sheets fell to expose his upper male torso. "You shouldn't've run like that. It's, unlike you," getting up from the bed, Vash padded toward the sorrow eyed priest in his loose pants.

"Vash, I'm... I didn't mean to.. I," Vash, didn't know why he did, silenced him by placing a finger over his lips.

"Sh, I still have to give you my proof."

"Vash, you don't have to, I believe you. Only a wo...," Wolfwood shut his mouth so fast Vash could hear the teeth connect.

"Only a woman would what? Protect her virginity? I won't lie, you did something, you caused me to react. No one has ever done that before. God, I wish I could describe it to you... The tightening, the clenching the pulsing all of it. Like strings being pulled, sending pleasure through me. You're the first to cause that part of me to react. I wasn't lying when I said you could. I was scared but, I'm not anymore. I want to feel that again. Will you help me feel that again?" Vash watched as Wolfwood's eyes got wider, brows furrowing in confusion.

"Vash, what are you," Vash killed the question with his lips, pressing them against the startled priest's, causing a response out of the other man.

"Giving you proof, giving me proof." Vash pushed, a bit surprised when Wolfwood let his legs buckle to fall back onto the bed. "Tell me now, do you want this to stop? All you have to say no and it will stop," leaning down, he took Wolfwood's shaking hand. "Here, your proof, and then we can stop," Vash ran that hand along his stomach, downward, relishing what may be their last contact. "Don't worry," Vash shuttered as he slid the cool hand into the waist of his pants, brushing the stirring male member, continuing on. He spread his legs to let their hands slide further back, he gasped when he brushed the lips of the female part of him. Wolfwood moaned as Vash spread his fingers, letting a single digit rest against the entrance, "Proof enough?" Vash asked breathlessly, giving the other the option.

"Oh, Spikey," Wolfwood slowly slid the digit into the slick warmth, causing Vash's throat to constrict. The finger slid even deeper, causing an instinctive response to move against it, though Vash knew his body wanted something much bigger than the small intruder.

"Do you, wanna stop?" Vash gasped, moving, trying to get the digit much deeper as it started to stoke over the sensitive places with him.

"I don't think I can," lips ended up swallowing the next moan from him as Wolfwood kissed him, pulling him closer with his free hand while his other continued the thrusting. "God, Vash, yer so hot, tight... God, just this might be enough..." Vash settled across his lap, gasping when Wolfwood's straining pants caused the moving hand harder, deeper into him. The other growled and took his mouth again, nipping at his lips until he let him in.

Soon Vash was whimpering and shifting, "Please, Wolfwood, more... Please," He grunted as he was pulled down against the other's chest, laying on him as the other crushed him to his chest. Vash whimpered in protest when the stroking hand pulled out of him.

"This... is in... the way," Wolfwood panted as he gripped Vash's now straining erection.

"God, don't do that, don't do that... One at a time, one at a time," just the grip sent his mind spinning in sensation, and he held off the wave of release threatening to break over him by pure force of will. "I want you in me..." Wolfwood chuckled as he let the pulsating organ be to push down the pants to let Vash's core slid across his own straining clothes. "Wolfwood," he pleaded sliding across the ruff texture of the slacks.

"God, keep that up and I'll explode," Vash continued to move against the material, feeling something building he'd never felt in this way. "Vash."

"Wolfwood," his limbs threatened to lock up as a shuttering started through him, forcing him to stop. "Off, get them off," he started tearing at the priest's belt, trying to do just that.

"Ah, Vash, easy..." Wolfwood was forcibly pulled up so Vash could pull off the offending pants.

"Less talk, I wanna feel," Vash already had a hold of Wolfwood's hard member trying to guide it into him.

"Wait, you, I'm not protected... Pocket, my pocket, in it, get it." Not willingly giving up his possession, Vash turned to lean over the bed, giving Wolfwood a rather interesting show. "God Spikey, didn't know you were so flexible," Vash felt the vibrations from Wolfwood's chuckle all the way up his chest as he laid across him, legs still resting on either side of his legs as he search the pants he'd just tossed.

Vash smiled once he found what he was searching for, "Wolfwood... Planning were you?" He gave a devilish grin as he waved the foil covered item at the priest.

"Well, you see, I had been coming home to this pretty little lady and I just thought," the bastard had the audacity to shrug nonchalantly at him. "Seems she's into it." Vash's jaw dropped, shocked, before he started back on the teasing.

"Into it? Hm, you make it sound like a kink. But wait, yer the one in a man's bed. And to think, the one you're after isn't even human. Tsk, tsk, Wolfwood."

"Whatever happened to less talk?"

Vash, will power yet again, shrugged, "Guess I'm not in the mood anymore," shutting off any emotion from his voice, he stood and turned to walk toward his empty bed.

Wolfwood let out a protest as he felt Vash's weight leave him. It took him a moment of seeing Vash's silhouette in the darkness before his mind started working again, "You may look like a man, but you are most definitely a woman." Though the sight of the other's still erect cock would disprove the statement. Wolfwood moved to grab him from behind, wrapping his arms around his waist. "Are you through pouting?" He slid his erection between the others legs to stroke the lips of his female opening.

"No, but you sure are distraction me."

"That's what I was planning." Soon he had Vash sliding the folds over him, whimpering for more. "You through yet?" Vash could do nothing but nod as he heard the sound of the package ripping open. "Come back to the bed, I want you to be comfortable." Wolfwood guided Vash to the bed, even as he moved the protective barrier over him. "This may feel... weird, and might hurt a bit. Ready?" Vash was laid down on the bed, lust clouded eyes half watching Wolfwood as he positioned himself between his legs. "This is still in the way," he smiled and rubbed his stomach across the ridged member, Vash groaned and bucked at the sensation.

"Stop torturing me, just do it, please." Vash threw his head back, arching his hips to line up with Wolfwood, "God, just, please." He could feel the clenching low in his abdomen and felt the emptiness, the longing for something to fill it, him.

"Oh, Vash," Wolfwood leaned, resting his hardness against the moist slick entrance.

"Yes, more," Vash clutched at the other's shoulders, legs wrapping around him, trying to force him further.

"Easy now, I'm trying to be a gentleman, and yer missing it," Wolfwood nuzzled at Vash's collar bone.

"Fuck that, just fuck me."

"Ooo, desperate, alright Spikey, just remember this was your doing," Wolfwood bit his lip at the tightness as he forced his head into the untried flesh, not stopping until it hit the barrier. "God, you really are a virgin..." Wolfwood panted, forcing himself not to slam through it into the rest of the tight warmth.

Vash was whimpering, moving beneath him, "Don't tell me that's it, please, more, let there be more," he couldn't feel the pleasure that their previous actions had promised only the pain of stretched muscles and protesting flesh.

"There's much more, just letting you rest," Vash's movements had him pushing harder against the barrier, threatening to break it. "I need you to stop moving... I'll hurt you worse if you do that," he knew his size was hard on virgins, he'd learned that with his own first time, but he didn't want to hurt Vash anymore than he had to. Vash wouldn't, or couldn't stop bucking, trying to bring the pleasure his body craved so. "Damnit," Wolfwood swore to himself, if he wouldn't stop moving he had to distract him. Reaching between them, he found Vash's straining cock, hand wrapping around it. His hand slid lightly downward, getting the reaction he wanted. All of Vash's movement stopped as his eyes glazed over, his back arched in an involuntary action. Wolfwood took his opportunity, sliding through the barrier, and quickly sunk himself as far as he could into Vash's clenching body.

Vash was seeing stars, his mind overloaded with sensation, barley aware of the body still above him, within him, until it started to move. The friction sent him higher and higher as his body finally got what it wanted. His insides were stretched, but didn't protest, not when there was so much pleasure to overpower the pain. "Wolfwood," Vash whispered, finally able to find the tempo to help, stroking the flames of pleasure licking at his body. "God..." His back arched again, Wolfwood thrust upward hard, striking places their previous position couldn't reach, sent him gasping and moaning, unable to get breathe enough to scream as his body began shuttering again. "Wolfwood, I... I think I'm... God, YES!" He finally found his breathe, his voice as a wave of pleasure seemed to race over, through him. He screamed his pleasure as his body constricted tightly around Wolfwood, taking away any restraint he had. He forced his way into the tight sheath, sending Vash into another orgasm before his finally broke. Vash's body milking him of his seed, as he thrust again, sending the other into a higher wave of pleasure.

"God Spikey... you okay?" Wolfwood thought he'd misread the signals, impossible, when he saw that Vash was still fully erect, even though he still felt the tremors of the other's release as he pulled out. "Vash?"

Vash could do nothing but lay there, spent, uncaring if his cock was still erect. He thought that would happen, but he never had any way of testing it. "God, Wolfwood, that was wonderful," he didn't care how it sounded, it was true, and was startled when an arm rested across his chest. "One at a time... remember," Wolfwood pulled him into his shoulder, letting his head rest there.

"Yeah, so you said. What happens when you... well."

"My mind shuts down, like it did when you grabbed me," Vash tried to thump him on the chest but ended up just letting his hand fall onto it, exhausted. "God, Wolfwood..."

"Yeah, I know..." He gave a contented hum, looking down at the man snuggling under his arm. "Anytime you wanna... experiment with this other half of yours, feel free to ask. I'd love the chance to do that again. Though nothing's tighter than a virgin," Vash felt himself blush as Wolfwood playfully nudged his cheek. "Now, what are we going to do about your not so little problem?"

Vash raised his eyes enough to make out his straining cock clearly before letting them fall shut. "Let it fend for itself, I'm too damn tired to care." He felt Wolfwood's chest shutter as he laughed before he let himself slip into a sated sleep.

Wolfwood stared at the sleeping face of Vash the Stampede. A man that was too soft hearted to even let the enemy die, skilled enough to take on the world and still keep the idea of saving everyone, and he wasn't even a complete man. Wolfwood smiled, that explained so much, only a woman, a mother, could love something enough to sacrifice everything to protect it. It just seemed so... like Vash.

Author's note:

Okay, okay, this story was weird... The question just popped into my head, aren't plants male and female? Why hadn't anyone, that I have read, thought of this? As for the random, Wolfwood being the main interest, I like that pairing. What can I say, with the exception of Wolf and Mill, I can't see Vash and either of the ladies. And, for those of you that have read the series, Vash ends up stating clear as day that he likes Wolfwood, as more than a friend.

And yes, I know this has been posted elsewhere, as for where I'm not telling.


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